I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
