I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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