even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
