I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize