The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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