so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
