you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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