dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize