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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  this medicine is soooo good.

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• (315): View more from New York

  evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.

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• (213): View more from California

  I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday

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• (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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• (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  can anyone on this campus do anything sober?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing

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• (425): View more from Washington

  So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...

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