her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
