dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
