um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Never joke about your clitoris.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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