i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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