I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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