I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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