Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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