Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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