We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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