Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
are you so shy because you have an std?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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