pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
