"it" just moved
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
