If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i dont even know how to be here
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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