Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
