My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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