sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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