Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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