Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
