you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
