i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
