I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
