omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
