That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
