You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
