Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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