dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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