I didn't shave. On purpose
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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