Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
