It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
