you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
