Are we in a gay sports bar?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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