just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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