when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
