I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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