All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
