Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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