left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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