What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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