I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
