"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
