"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
