How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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