forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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