Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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