You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
