Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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