hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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