How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
