i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
