Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
nutella sex= disaster
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Two words: nipple clamps
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