I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize