Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
