I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
