the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
