Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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